Hay-on-Wye-on-Sky

Bank Holiday Monday morning and off to Hay. Remarkably civilised journey - train deserted and able to stretch out, do e-mails, read the paper and screen a load of Arts Council films. Get to Hereford and take the scenic route (i.e. bus). Saved a fortune in terms of Taxi fare which is good. Arrive on site just as the music for the Hay-on-Sky show starts from the studio. Not so good. So, sit in the press portacabin to watch the show on a monitor instead. Show's entertaining and goes well.

Get my crew pass, my swanky Sky Arts wellies and am ready to go. But something's not quite right... yep, the sun's out and it's not raining. The previous two year's it's been like the Somme given the rain and mud and now it's sunny. Dump my bag in the Sky Arts house, bid farewell to four colleagues who've been here the weekend and, leaving wellies in the Sky Arts hut, don sunnies and set off to explore the festival before the filming of the final What the Dickens?

Before the recording there's a really cool 3D demo - unfortunately an audience member close by doesn't have the necessary (and coolly retro Ray Ban Wayfarer-style) 3D shades so I give her mine. Audience love the 3D reel.

The show's hilarious. Sandi Toksvig's hilarious as are the team captains Chris and the lovely Sue Perkins. Great Picasso gag at the end which Sandi seems to love more than anything - she even manages to get it into her interview the following day on Hay-on-Sky...

Evening session - the legend that is Tony Curtis... Saw him earlier in the year at the National Film Theatre for a Q+A following a screening of Some Like It Hot. He's 84 next week and built like a bull. Albeit a slightly fragile one. In a wheelchair. I know what I mean. Without his wig but wearing a white stetson he pulls himself forward with his feet to the front of the stage to revel in the applause from the full house. The next hour flies by as Francine Stock tries to get a word in and keep him on track. As you'd expect from someone who's made 155+ movies and had a 50 year career in Hollywood, the anecdotes fly thick and fast. Marilyn, obviously, is discussed and Tony puts to rest once and for story about him being quoted as saying kissing her was 'like kissing Hitler'. His full reply when asked 'what was it like kissing Marilyn?' was along the lines of 'like kissing Hitler, what d'you think?'...

There's time for his Cary Grant impression and, despite two power cuts, this living legend has the audience enthralled. Francine Stock may have regretted mentioning his conquests and, in particular, two stars who don't come off well in his new autobiography - Shelley Winters and Joan Collins. Stock asks if this is because they turned him down. 'They didn't turn me down, They weren't invited' is Tony's reply.

His anecdote about why he isn't a member of the Joan Collins fan club turns the air rather blue as he describes filming an ep of 'The Persuaders' with her and being forced to wait while she got herself ready despite the cameras being about to roll. Ms. Collins didn't take kindly to Curtis saying 'Joan will you stop being a c**t'. Collins then leaned out the window calling to the director 'He called me a c**t!!'. The audience crack up but Tony apologises for the language.

Later as I'm walking back to Hay I walk past a dad talking to his son who's about 10 or 11. I catch a snippet of their conversation as the dad say '...I guess he just didn't like working with Joan Collins...'

Then it's the wrap party for What the Dickens in the Three Tuns pub - low ceilings I discover on at least three occasions... ouch.

Tuesday - it's still sunny. What is going on here?

After breakfast off to the site bookshop to pick up some books for my son, then head into Hay to take some photos for the Hay website and the blogs. More books for Jake, a few cups of coffee and buy a giant promotional Lego figure for Jake. Forget that I've got to lug all this (and virgin Sky Arts wellies) back home. Doh! That said, my collection of promotional hessian bags is growing so maybe they'll be useful after all...

Hay blog - it's sunny... and rainy. Very rainy

First day - get to Hereford at six and get to Hay via a Neil Diamond-loving taxi driver. The new ablbum's good and we have a "Name That Tune" moment as he runs though his CD sorter seeing if we know our Green Day from our Squeeze.

The Sky studio at Hay is very impressive. Everyone's working hard having recorded the first Hay On Sky programme and now it's gearing up for the pilot of our new cultural quiz show What the Dickens? A full house to see Sandi Toksvig work her comedy magic on the audeince and panel alike. My favourite bit was her story about being asked to interview Benny from ABBA, getting up at the crack of dawn to schlep over to Sweden only to press the buzzer at Chez Benny to hear a voice say "oh, I forgot you were coming". Sandi's reply isn't repeatable here but watch the show. Dan, Alyssa and I then get to slope off to see the cult Touareg rockers Tinariwen - as mixed an audience as you can imagine - 7 to 70 - Sahara-rock obviously more popular than you'd imagine.

The lovely Annalisa then drops us at our accomodation, 5 miles outside of Hay, a lovely farmhouse. City boys that we are Dan and I recieve minor head trauma courtesy of the ceilings/beams.

Saturday - up at the crack of dawn (well 8am) as Dan and Alyssa have tickets for a 9am session. I realise that my first session is 4.30pm but hey (or "Hay"?) time to go exploring. Well, after breakfast. Hay's an amazing place - bookshops everywhere, very laid back and, for one day only, the sun's out! Spend the morning taking photos for Sinead for the website and the blog. Chat with Jon Burgerman who's creating art in the Sky Arts experiential area - hugely popular with festival goers who can grab pens and colour in the work and add their own embelishments. Nice guy, lives in Nottingham so we chat about the place (we both went to Nottingham Trent Uni and he lives near where I used to in Sneinton). A brief trip ito Hay and spot a jazz Xylophone player - only in Hay (or possibly as an accompany to Ron Burgundy).

Off to see Gore Vidal is interviewed by Adam Boulton. Vidal's witty but prickly but very entertaining (a medla to Adam Boulton though for such a great job hosting and keepign things going). Vidal's a star though and this audience obviously are in awe as he gives his views on politics, art, history and, in response to an audience question, the young. "What advice would you give to yong people today?". "Grow up!". Book Show recording goes well - top guests too with Salman Rushdie, Christopher Hitchins and Fey Weldon. Make note to buy Hitchins' book.

Food! Go for dinner at the Black Lion pub. Rory McGrath and a couple of the editors are at the bar. Naomi Kline's looking to get somethign to eat (I think it's her) and we're in the quiet restaurant at the back. Relax. A bottle of wine and great meal later we have a slight hitch. How the hell do we get home? All the cabs in the area are booked for hours and we're five miles away. Oh yeah, we don't have a map either. Throw ourselves at the mercy of Annalisa who's at the other Sky house in Hay itself. Annalisa and Sinead are watching Eurovision. A small price to pay for getting home. A glass of wine, some chocolate, the ice dancing Michael Flatley and an argument over whetehr the sequel to "Pot Luck" is any good later, we're home.

Sunday

This is more like it - rain. In Biblical proportions. More photos for the web - slight contrast to yesterday. Jimmy Carter's in for a pre-recorded segment for today's show. Trusty camera in hand I wait with a Guardian photographer for Tony the floor manager to give us the nod for 2mins to grab some pics. Off with the wellies and up on stage to grab some shots of Mariella and Jimmy on the sofa. Crap photographer that I am 2 are usuable but that's all we need.

Cross paths with Mr Carter later when Dan, Alyssa and I are walking around to grab some tea and Dan is donning a free festival ponchos. Just as the wind catches it and he inflates like a giant smurf, Jimmy Carter (cluthcing a Pimms?) and his small entourage turn the corner. Spot Jimmy doing a double take as Dan inflates.

Buy my son some books by Julia Donaldson of "Gruffalo" fame - Dan says he saw the Gruffalo walking around earlier (part of an earlier session or Dan's losing it?).

Book Show recording this afternoon - Rory McGrath, A L Kennedy and Nina Conti are the guests. Very funny show with all on good form. Nina Conti and Monk win over the team here with people who saw her performance vowing to see her on tour. Tony the floor manager moves some of us in to the seats vacated by the guests. Get e-mail afterwards from colleague back in London taking in the live feed saying "I can see you on the telly".

Brave the pouring rain to venture back into Hay to buy essesentials - milk, paracetamol and fags ready for tonight's party.

Adrian, slightly damp but unable to spell